Prep: The Art of Feminine Friendship & Calling in Sisterhood

My name is Jessica, and I’ll be your hostess at The Art of Feminine Friendship and Calling in Sisterhood gatherings. Before we spend time connecting, I ask that you take some moments to go over these writings as you prepare to share space with the other women in attendance. While we all have our unique experience with friendship, it is so important for us to have some context and direction going into our circle. If you are unfamiliar with women’s circles, please take a few minutes to read about them here.

With the world becoming increasingly complex, the experience of friendship has not been an exception. It’s so easy to stay in our own bubbles and try to make it on our own. We often do this to avoid conflict, rejection, stress, and increased responsibility. While social media is a resource with access to millions of potentially compatible friends, so many of us are more alone than ever. It can feel empty, and unfulfilling- even as we attempt in person friendships that eventually fizzle out or end messily. I understand. I’ve been there. I think we’ve all been there. And whether you’re in a place of loneliness, or abundance in your friendships, we can all learn how to call in friends that nourish us, better nurture the women in our lives and reap the many blessings that come from authentic sisterhood. Through affirmations, let’s explore some ways to manifest this kind of connection.

Affirmation one: I love and accept every woman because I accept and love myself.

There is a divine connection between every woman who has lived, is living and will live on this earth. While we are all undeniably unique, our shared experiences bring us together in ways that can’t be mimicked or manufactured. My life completely changed when I started seeing the women around me, as a part of me. And as I began hosting and tending to them in different ways, I found that there was always common ground, motive and connection if I made the effort to find it. A new belief was formed: in some way or another, every woman is my friend.

Affirmation two: I deserve reciprocal, nurturing friendships that heal my soul.

In conflict with my last point, some say that a friend to everyone is a friend to no one. This is only true when we lack standards, boundaries and authenticity in our socializing. When I began to see all women as my friend, I began to try to be everything for everybody and it was completely impossible. I found myself feeling both popular and hopelessly alone. We can love and accept all women- and even seeing them as our friends, while only blessing a small circle with our full vulnerability and service. One of the most beautiful blessings of friendship is the way that women pour energy into each other and create loops of service, presence, understanding and nourishment. In healthy friendships, women build one another up, share grief, show compassion, and authentically show up for one another. This kind of friendship is impossible to have with everyone. It requires a servant mindset, reciprocity and attentiveness. To avoid confusion or burn out, it’s important to respectfully and discreetly categorize your friendships. Some women will just be from work, some you’ll call to catch up once a month, some you’ll text with all day, and others will meet you for lunch once a year. These are all valuable manifestations of friendship that absolutely have a place in your life! There is a certain amount of energy you can give different friendships at different times and staying conscious of the way invest yourself into those relationships will help you feel abundance in your larger and inner circle. You deserve to feel absolutely surrounded by sisters who support, love and accept you.

Affirmation three: There is an abundance of authentic friendships always available to me.

There may come a time you want to be in the inner circle of one of your friends, only to find that she can’t reciprocate the attention you are trying to give the friendship. This can feel like rejection. It can be easy to wonder about your worth and value as a friend and woman. Perhaps there have been times you have felt left out of a group you desperately want to connect with. There are a few ways to remedy this. One, is to be completely open with these women and continue to pursue friendships with them by organizing hangouts and not waiting around to be asked. The second is to completely accept who these women are and what people they have chosen to prioritize in their lives. The phrase “match their energy” doesn’t have to be an aggressive one. It’s about creating reciprocity without cutting people out needlessly. Some women have the experience of friends they’ve had for a long time pulling away unexpectedly. The same previous remedies are found to be helpful in these situations too. It all comes down to learning to match energy, master healthy detachment, and most importantly, see the opportunity for friends everywhere you go! There will be seasons of many friends, seasons of few. Some friends are forever and others are lessons. You are so delightful and lovely, sister! You never need to hold your friends hostage. Accept that some will leave, and some will dip in and out of your life. Accept and respect their decisions to shift. Some friendships will change. Friends are everywhere. There are always women to pour into and learn from- you just have to see them and gently call them in by living an authentic life and doing what brings you joy.

This is only the tip of the iceberg. I am so looking forward to sitting in circle with you and hearing your thoughts on these ideas. Some of this may not have resonated with you and that is perfectly okay. The goal in our circles is to find our shared experiences and teach one another how we navigate those experiences in or own unique ways.

With heart full of gratitude,